Internet city

Sometimes I can get myself so flustered with art in general. I suppose it's because I look at everything from a creative direction in some way; whether it's writing or drawings or photography or what have you. And although I love the internet and my various networking, sometimes I feel that my constant nature of being “plugged in” can discourage me or get me into a rut. These ruts are probably natural to the creative process, I understand, but the last thing I want to do is make them worse if I can help it. Not being able to create, or being in a place where I don’t feel like doing anything with myself- that’s the worst feeling in the world. Being outside, amongst people and the hustle and bustle of life is something that inspires me more than almost anything can. I’m not sure why I feel the need to tell you this, and the fact that I’m blogging when I could be out and about is highly hypocritical, but perhaps it has something to do with the nature of my creative process. I tend to single out problems with the way I work, recognize them, and question them. I’m not the type of person to see something wrong with myself and just say, “Oh, all right, that’s my limit, I’ll just accept it.” It’s not that I think I don’t have limits, but more that I find my weaknesses just as intriguing as my strengths. It’s amazing how flawed we all can be, and how we all are valid and important human beings despite these flaws. And it’s this humanity which interests me, and this comes back to my “get out and observe people” shtick. Stories are what really get me. I’m a sucker for a good story, and I suppose that’s the core of my creative mind. I’m all for creating simply for creation’s sake, for making a purely visual work. But when I really get inspired, I tell a story somehow. Often it’s partially my own story. Sometimes it’s a fictional story. Sometimes it’s several stories mixed up together. And I think the times when I experience the greatest inertia are when I have no stories to tell, or when I’m frustrated by the ones I’m watching unfold before me. I used to wonder why I long to be in cities and to travel, why I feel most at home under the neon mantle of New York than in the safe and small city I live in now. I like a bit of danger in my life, that’s part of it. But really, what I like being part of something bigger, and being surrounded millions of people living and breathing and dying right beside me. This is what probably attracts me to the internet, despite all the times it can freeze my brain. The fact that I can talk to someone thousands of miles away in a heartbeat- that excites me on a fundamental level. I like a bigger audience, the glimpse into a better life through whatever site or story. The internet is really like the biggest city on earth, and sometimes it overwhelms me. So I have to go to the real world for a while, which is at once bigger and smaller than the virtual one I’ve left.

It’s something to keep in mind, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that this is the case for others as well.